Another Loony North East Councillor

Meet Councillor Henri Murison, (representative for Heaton South, Newcastle)



Crazy name, crazy guy.

But behind those glasses is the mind of a man who is so dense he thinks he can embark on a 1-man crusade to remove the burger from the hands of the average tyneside drinker and replace it with a healthy salad box.

What a fucking cretin

Henri, being a labour party member - and hence desperate to kill off the free market and replace it with his own ideas of what is required for the populace - is very keen that people who have spent the entire night filling their guts with lager, smirnoff ice, cheap spirits etc have the opportunity to undo all that harm by forcing them to eat salads instead of a nice mechanically recovered meat patty in a bun.

Thus, in his desperation to enforce what he feels is "the right thing to do", and being unable to wheel out the "will someone think of the children" as justification; is using the "public health" card to force burger vans to offer low fat alternatives. Sadly this lunatic seems to have overlooked a few small facts: -

• Salads after a night on the piss are not an appetising option - a nice steaming pile of meat is
• Most of the residents of the north east are already fat fuckers who have been dodging salads as a region for the past 50 years - an extra burger after a night on the wife-beater will not make things any worse now.
• It is so, unbelievably, anti-free market and idiotically anti-small business it's fucking staggering. Personally I'd not touch a burger from a van with a shitty stick. But if you force them to sell healthy options and restrict their trade, the punters will bugger off to mcdonalds, subway or elsewhere (who these days are open till dawn in most cities), and have an equally unhealthy mcshit in a bun, to the detriment of the small business.

So there we have it - Henri doesn't believe in free enterprise, is a dillusional control freak who thinks he can make the people of tyneside thin, and really needs to get a grip

Note: - despite reading this story in my local free rag that gets shoved through the door if I want it or not along with a clutch of adverst for "Jobbing" (pikey) builders, double glazing fuckers and pizza companies; I can't find it anywhere on the web or even on the local rags website - happily though their website did inform me that Greggs plan to provision a drive through pastie outlet on Tyneside. Oh fucking joy

Newcastle Council are a bunch of Twats

The idiotic Lib Dem shitehawks who run Newcastle council have decided that they will use my taxes to spunk up the wall on Keynesian spending plans including "Regeneration projects" (Pikey builders putting shitty double glazing and loft lagging into the houses of the workshy), "Raising benefits" (again for the workshy / lazy) and "Pensions" (doubtless gold-plating the ones of the overpaid fuckers leading the council on 100+K a year).

Utter, utter bastards - what should my heard earned pay be blown on feather-bedding the bastards who already get the moon on a fucking stick. Why can't they get their pitiful brains round the concept that you cannot spend your way out of a recession by taxing the working stiffs - possibly because they nicked the idea from central government (doubtless on the logic that if the Gorgon is screwing the country rotten propping up failed banks, no-one will notice if they follow his lead), and partially because the Lib Dems are at risk of getting the boot at the next local elections if they're not seen to make sure the fat and lazy get their council tax benefits and free sauna sessions.

The only rays of hope are that they'll spend some of the money on improving the absolutely shoddy road network up here (though the amount of work they'll get out of 7 mil won't be much based on the time it took them to widen 200 meters of road by 8 meters - 6 fucking months) and sacking some 500 diversity caseworkers and organic beansprout advisers.

Happily though in the interests of interactivity I was able to tell them what a bunch of twats they were via their "what do you think of our budget" feedback page on the website. But I doubt they'll listen

Destination: Hell. Method of Transport: Handcart

Proof positive that the idiots running this country are even more bonkers than we thought comes via an extended rant by Bristol Dave - excellent but scary stuff - it appears that Bristol council truly have lost the plot

Shoesmith gets the boot

No pun intended.

Happily this sour-faced sack o'shite has now been dismissed without compo, back pay or pay in lieu of notice.




Good

Happily since she has been sacked, she won't even get her jobseekers allowance if she signs on.
"So what sort of job are you looking for ms Shoesmith?"

Welcome to Morpeth, it's shite

For those of you who aren't familiar with the north east of our septic isle, allow me to introduce you to Morpeth, north of Newcastle, just off the A1 at around the point where it degrades from dual carriageway to rutted track.

Morpeth has the distinction of being a place where noting ever happens what so ever - which gives rise to the phrase "duller than morpeth on a wet Sunday afternoon"; however it's notable points include the little gem that 57% of those who live there are employed by the state; its parent authority has pissed lots of taxes up the wall in Icelandic savings accounts, and it can't even get paying out council tax benefit right. Morpeth council therefore has enough time on its hands and enough bodies to now start policing the sale of parsnips by yokels.

Officials from Northumberland County Council told him the parsnips, spinach and leeks grown in his walled garden should be sold by metric weight, following EU rules, and sent him four pages of guidance.

So Morpeth council has solved all it's problems (highlights of the last audit commission reports include: - Strategic Housing Services - Poor; Housing maintenance - Poor; information technology, receptoin & telephone services - Poor) and can now turn its attention to ensuring vegetable honesty boxes comply with the latest rules as handed down by the morons in Brussels. The fuckers are so backward they can't even build a basic web page for complaints and I'm not spending the price of a stamp to tell them they're a bunch of tossers.

Country. Dogs. Gone. To

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Update:
I am informed that the metric morons were in fact from Northumberland Council. This is true, and I can't read the quotes I use properly, but then I am a northerner.

Morpeth however remains shite