Hoon de jour - Ed Milliband

*with apologies for jumping on the Hoon bandwaggon*

Say hello to Scumbags nomination for todays biggest Hoon - Ed Milliband, brother of that condescending twat David.



Ed likes wind turbines.

Ed likes wind turbines a lot.

Ed has therefore decided that not liking wind turbines should now be "socially unacceptable", or to give this useless little turd ample rope to hang himself with:

"The Government needs to be saying 'It is socially unacceptable to be against wind turbines in your area - like not wearing your seat belt or driving past a zebra crossing.'

What the fuck?? The greenies really are getting desperate these days to convince an increasingly skeptical public about the evils of MMCC if they're reduced to this sort of bullshit. And this boy gets a ministerial salary, a whole department, and doubtless a whole army of toaies to tell him what a wonderful man he really is and how he's "making a difference". What a total Hoon.

Just fuck off Ed and take your piss-poor attempts at ramming your opinion down our throats with you

Saving The Health & Safety Executive Some Money

I'm a civic minded individual, and seeing as we're in a time of unprecedented global uncertainty and McBroon hasn't got round to saving the world just yet; I probably ought to put some of my time aside Pro Bono and do my civic duty.

So here's my report on an incident of some dozy 14 year old taff bint in Barry Island buring herself on a coin-op tan machine : -

Report of Injuries Sustained by Kirsty McRae of Barry Island, on the 16th Feb 2009, in the Yakky-Dah stand n'tan salon, Barry Island

Self inflicted due to stupidity


End

Ouch

Funniest thing is that apparently her Mum is a health & safety officer.... Oh the fucking glorious irony

More god botherers chuck bricks out of pram

Hot(ish) on the heels of the BA woman and her crucifix, and the bloke who wouldn't give relationship advice to gays comes yet another god botherer who refuses to drive his bus because Richard Dawkins & co have put a "there's probably no god" advert on it.

So say hello to Ron Heather.

Ron Heather, from Southampton, Hampshire, responded with "shock" and "horror" at the message and walked out of his shift on Saturday in protest.

Has he been sacked or even reprimanded for causing inconvenience to customers of First Bus, who - doubtless because they have to get the bus in the first place - are the usual mix of the elderly, the infirm and the skint? Of course he hasn't -

"I felt that I could not drive that bus, I told my managers and they said they haven't got another one and I thought I better go home, so I did.

So Ron goes off in a huff, and his employers do this:

First Bus said it would do everything in its power to ensure Mr Heather does not have to drive the buses. When he returned to work on Monday he was called into a meeting with managers and agreed to go back to work with the promise he would only have to drive the buses if there were no others available

What the fuckidy-fuck??? I'm not nostradamus, but I'm guessing the fuckers in his union has some pressure to bear on this one (as they always do, bastards).

But understand this Ron - you are employed to drive people from place to place and collect fares - the colour, or advertising on your bus will in no way affect your ability to do this - be it red, blue of fucking glittery pink, you drive the bus and that is the end of it. Your contract does not give you the right to decide the livery and advertising of your bus. You are a hyper-senitive fucker and deserve the sack for refusing to do your job; not fucking tea & sympathy for your excessive sensitivity. At what point did you think you have the right to renegotiate your terms & conditions based on the adverts on your bus? You don't like it then quit and get a job bringing the light of christ into peoples lives. Or maybe not.

Sack the bastard and see how his faith will provide him with a living wage in the middle of a recession. Stupid twat.

I predict a riot

Not that I give a flying shit. But if you plan on visiting London this saturday, the soap-dodgers, guardian readers & foaming mouthed trots who make up the stop the war coalition, bolstered by assorted Hamas / Iran / Al qaeda supporters and that cock George Galloway will be holding another day of anger in Trafalgar square. Doubtless topped off by a walk to the Israeli embassy for another dust-up with plod

I'm assuming it'll be along similar lines to last week (ineffectual hippy girl tries to control young masked Muslim men and stop them throwing shit at the rozzers)


Maybe this time they'll kick-off properly and we'll get to see angry young men being water-cannoned into the gutter.

Another Loony North East Councillor

Meet Councillor Henri Murison, (representative for Heaton South, Newcastle)



Crazy name, crazy guy.

But behind those glasses is the mind of a man who is so dense he thinks he can embark on a 1-man crusade to remove the burger from the hands of the average tyneside drinker and replace it with a healthy salad box.

What a fucking cretin

Henri, being a labour party member - and hence desperate to kill off the free market and replace it with his own ideas of what is required for the populace - is very keen that people who have spent the entire night filling their guts with lager, smirnoff ice, cheap spirits etc have the opportunity to undo all that harm by forcing them to eat salads instead of a nice mechanically recovered meat patty in a bun.

Thus, in his desperation to enforce what he feels is "the right thing to do", and being unable to wheel out the "will someone think of the children" as justification; is using the "public health" card to force burger vans to offer low fat alternatives. Sadly this lunatic seems to have overlooked a few small facts: -

• Salads after a night on the piss are not an appetising option - a nice steaming pile of meat is
• Most of the residents of the north east are already fat fuckers who have been dodging salads as a region for the past 50 years - an extra burger after a night on the wife-beater will not make things any worse now.
• It is so, unbelievably, anti-free market and idiotically anti-small business it's fucking staggering. Personally I'd not touch a burger from a van with a shitty stick. But if you force them to sell healthy options and restrict their trade, the punters will bugger off to mcdonalds, subway or elsewhere (who these days are open till dawn in most cities), and have an equally unhealthy mcshit in a bun, to the detriment of the small business.

So there we have it - Henri doesn't believe in free enterprise, is a dillusional control freak who thinks he can make the people of tyneside thin, and really needs to get a grip

Note: - despite reading this story in my local free rag that gets shoved through the door if I want it or not along with a clutch of adverst for "Jobbing" (pikey) builders, double glazing fuckers and pizza companies; I can't find it anywhere on the web or even on the local rags website - happily though their website did inform me that Greggs plan to provision a drive through pastie outlet on Tyneside. Oh fucking joy

Councillor Ahmed Khan

This grinning baldy b'stard

is a truancy encouraging, divisionist idiot who is quite prepared to hide behind schoolchildren and fuck up their education to show "solidarity" with the Palestinians.

Muslim children took the day off school to hold a protest over the violence in Gaza.

Did they now??? No Christians allowed? No Jews? Sikhs? Or would their parents have objected to being used as political tools by some grandstanding councillor? Or is there another card being played?

Councillor Ahmed Khan of the Beacon and Bents ward, who organised the event, said there were no banners and the vigil was be "non-disruptive."

Congratulations Ahmed - because a "disruptive" protest about violence in Gaza would have been a bit stupid eh? And a "disruptive" protest is actually, errr, normally called "a riot" you tosser.

So what have we got on the charge sheet then?

• Encouraging mass truancy
• Manipulation of children
• Manipulation of ethinic minorities
• Questionable moral behaviour

Utter despicable moron

A South Tyneside Council spokesman said: "We sympathise with everyone who has concerns about the loss of life and horrific injuries on both sides of the conflict.

"However, in line with guidance from the government, we will be advising head teachers to mark the absences as unauthorised.

Good - I have made a complaint to South Tynesides truancy officer as per their web page regarding truancy and asked for councilor Kahn to be investigated.

There will also be a complaint to the standards board, and depending if I have any beer tonight, an e-mail to Ahmed to enquire how he justifies the loss of around 600 hours of valuable education to ethnic minorities, who are often the most excluded in the education system - his e-mail is ahmed.khan(at)southtyneside.gov.uk if anyone else wants to ask him as well

Ahmed - you are a manipulative piece of work

Funny places to put temperature sensors

All photos shamelessly nicked from Watts up with that

Apparently in the "monitoring the climate" game, you have to be a little bit careful where you position the sensors, bearing in mind that too close to man-made objects, sources of heat retention, excess heat / cold etc can screw up the readings and give false data trends. so it's a little surprising where the sensors end up - as these photos illustrate

On top of a fire station next to a load of air-con units




Smack bang between a couple of sewage units



Just outside a funeral home

Fucking geniuses these climate experts - in any normal scientific study this sort of basic category of mistakes in gathering data would invalidate the results of the whole thing - but apparently not when it's in the service of pedalling the dogma of Gore & Co.

BBC's usual standards apply

Spotted over at Biased BBC

It seems that their "diary of an aid worker" feature is written by a member of Islamic Relief Worldwide - who (quel surprise) have some links to Hamas

For years Islamic Relief Worldwide has denied they were linked to terrorism . The group which is based in the UK and Burbank California raised money after 9/11 using the pretext of helping victims. With the arrest of one of their British operatives in Israel who admitted funding Hamas it is to be hoped that IRW will go the way of KinderUSA and KindHearts,which were closed down by the U.S. Treasury Department because of terrorism funding

Incredible - the BBC happily broadcasts the diaries of a group who have links to one side in the conflict, and spin them as some sort of "account of a neutral"

Utter bastards...

Not that I should be surprised.

And in other news, bears continue to shit in the woods

Oh dear....

I really shouldn't read the BBC news as it just makes me grumpy...

In their quest to ensure the hysteria about climate change remains undiminished in the face of mounting evidence that it's all bullshit; the BBC are now reporting the lunatic suggestion that climate change is responsible for all sorts of natural disaster phenomenons such as: -

• Hurricanes (these being a new phenomenon obviously)
• Flooding (which again, never occurred before those pesky factories started up

And the 2 interesting ones

• Tsunamis, and
• Earthquakes

Errr - Come again? Earthquakes?? Those things caused by the sudden movement of tectonic plates against one another? Fuck me sideways, I've heard some strange things about so called MMCC - but that takes the sodding biscuit. Ditto tsunamis, those tidal waves caused by undersea earthquakes.
Whichever moron penned this article is a fucking tool And the quoted insurance representative who said this (one Torsten Jeworrek of Munich Re)

Climate change has already started and is very probably contributing to increasingly frequent weather extremes and ensuing natural catastrophes

is a disingenuous twat.

But just to illustrate how bad things are though, the BBC gave us this picture of someone from China weeping over the remains of his home, doubtless destroyed by that pesky global warming caused earthquake.

Damn you global warming!

Career limiting moves

This little fat fucker, one Bob Quick, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Alf from Home & Away, has decided to commit what is sure to be career suicide and chuck his bricks out of the pram over a newspaper article

Fat Alf is in charge of hounding Damian Green over some home office leaks, and as a result he has become a lot more high profile. The daily mail has since run a story saying his missus runs some sort of taxi company from the marital home, which has led to fat Alf going all Black helicopters and saying the tories are out to nobble him.

Jesus wept - just what we need, another plod who's more paranoid than your average dope smoker.... Fucking genius. But at least he's come out and displayed that the rozzers at a a high level are all political bastards toadying up to their political paymasters in the hope of patronage

But he's obviously a bit of a divvy, because all this hissy-fit means is that when the tories get into power, Fat Alf will have all the career prospects of Ian Huntley. But at least he might be able to get a job driving taxis.

Moronic teacher thinks open source is theft

This woman really needs her head examined - confiscating OS disks, claiming Linux "holds back kids" (?), threatening to "pursue charges as the law allows" for "illegal" activities, and claiming that "No software is free and spreading that misconception is harmful".

Jesus wept - where do you start re-educating a woman who makes laughable claims like "I am sure if you contacted Microsoft, they would be more than happy to supply you with copies of an older verison (sic) of Windows and that way, your computers would actually be of service to those receiving them..." No my little retard, they would tell you the old OS's are out of date and flog you a copy of vista.

Utter, utter, utter moron

H/T: The register

Congrats to the Mancs

Well done to all those in the south for sticking 2 fingers up to the bastards who want to force drivers to pay twice to use the roads - road tax then congestion charge.

Hopefully this puts the final nail in the coffin of congestion charging outside of our shitty capital - but I wouldn't put it past that twat Geoff Hoon to try somewhere else.

Aside from the fact that motorists just won't buy it, it proves once and for all that people won't accept the "pay now, get better transport later" bribe since we all know that public transport is, and will remain, crap.

But the losers seem to be a bit bitter

Lord Peter Smith, leader of the Association of Greater Manchester Authorities (AGMA), stood up and acknowledged the "very clear" will of the people and gave his reaction.

"It's a vote no to improvements on Metrolink, on railways and on buses," he began, before being drowned out by howls of derision from a handful of the victors.

What a twat.

Immediately after the result was announced, officials in the 'Yes' campaign told BBC News they were "disappointed with the voting turnout".

Ahhh bless - so lets understand your logic, there was over a 50% turnout, over half the people entitled to vote came out and kicked your batty scheme into touch. You lost by a ratio of almost 4:1 for crying out loud - that is not just a defeat - that's a fucking annihilation and no mistake - bubbling over turnout still won't help. Diddums

Mary Mary, quite moronic

I normally steer clear of anything on the BBC's "have your say" as it tends to make the piss boil somewhat; but for some reason I strayed onto it this morning and spotted this little gem in relation to James Purnells plan to make the workshy find jobs.

i ask this question:

where does the money for benefits come from? from taxes paid by working people?

nope. the answer is from a security bond which was created when your parent signed your birth certificate, and is directly attached to your national insurance number. so when you apply for benefits, the money is created just for you

if you don't know what i'm on about you need to go do some reading

Mary, London, UK

Aside from it being worth of inclusion of spEak You're bRanes, you've got to admire Mary's ignorance of the laws of conservation of mass / matter, as well as her determination to cling to the "benefits are my right as a hooman beein', innit"

Mary, you really need to understand that there is not some mythical benefit fairy, who at the moment of your entry on the registry of births, waves a magic wand and causes a big fat pile of cash to appear in the post office vaults with "Mary's loot" written on it. This may surprise you but your benefits actually come from people like me! I pay a huge wedge of my wages every month, so the least you could do is actually acknowledge where it really comes from. There is no benefits equivalent of santa claus, no violation of the laws of physics to bring you your giro - just me an millions like me who stump up for fools like you.

So Mary, here's a thought - you need to do some reading darling - try the jobs section of the paper, look for a job with the council, they're bound to have a job for an idiot like you