Thursday, 15 January 2009

Another Loony North East Councillor

Meet Councillor Henri Murison, (representative for Heaton South, Newcastle)

Crazy name, crazy guy.

But behind those glasses is the mind of a man who is so dense he thinks he can embark on a 1-man crusade to remove the burger from the hands of the average tyneside drinker and replace it with a healthy salad box.

What a fucking cretin

Henri, being a labour party member - and hence desperate to kill off the free market and replace it with his own ideas of what is required for the populace - is very keen that people who have spent the entire night filling their guts with lager, smirnoff ice, cheap spirits etc have the opportunity to undo all that harm by forcing them to eat salads instead of a nice mechanically recovered meat patty in a bun.

Thus, in his desperation to enforce what he feels is "the right thing to do", and being unable to wheel out the "will someone think of the children" as justification; is using the "public health" card to force burger vans to offer low fat alternatives. Sadly this lunatic seems to have overlooked a few small facts: -
  • Salads after a night on the piss are not an appetising option - a nice steaming pile of meat is
  • Most of the residents of the north east are already fat fuckers who have been dodging salads as a region for the past 50 years - an extra burger after a night on the wife-beater will not make things any worse now.
  • It is so, unbelievably, anti-free market and idiotically anti-small business it's fucking staggering. Personally I'd not touch a burger from a van with a shitty stick. But if you force them to sell healthy options and restrict their trade, the punters will bugger off to mcdonalds, subway or elsewhere (who these days are open till dawn in most cities), and have an equally unhealthy mcshit in a bun, to the detriment of the small business.
So there we have it - Henri doesn't believe in free enterprise, is a dillusional control freak who thinks he can make the people of tyneside thin, and really needs to get a grip

Note: - despite reading this story in my local free rag that gets shoved through the door if I want it or not along with a clutch of adverst for "Jobbing" (pikey) builders, double glazing fuckers and pizza companies; I can't find it anywhere on the web or even on the local rags website - happily though their website did inform me that Greggs plan to provision a drive through pastie outlet on Tyneside. Oh fucking joy


Obnoxio The Clown said...

Actually, if you have been out on the lash, one of the best things you can eat before falling into bed is a big bowl of roughly chopped salad. The salad breaks down into water and the sugars and nutrients your body needs after too much alcohol, at pretty much just the right pace.

Give it a go. ;o)

Earthlet Nigel said...

In many places salad is heaped onto the kebabs, halfway house I suppose, but not for the likes of fuckwit.

PS I hope he isn't breeding

The Penguin said...

Never mind, the Piestuffers can get a few quid off the NHS to buy some cakes.

The Penguin

Ming TM said...

Shitty food is there for a reason - so thick bastards eat it and die....See Charles Darwin for details

The Scumbag said...

I thought the correct place for the salad that comes with kebab was in the gutter??